Despite my almost venomous like refusal to give Vince McMahon any of my hard earned money, Wrestlemania is the one Pay Per View of the year that I will actually bother to shell out any money for. I've said it before that being a professional wrestling fan is a lot like having an elderly member of the family that's stricken with Alzheimer's. With a great deal of the WWE product as of late, save for a few bright spots now and again; gramps has been forgetting what year it is a lot lately.
That being said, Wrestlemania is the one show that even the most burnt out of fans are almost compelled in a Pavlovian manner to watch even if they haven't been following much or at all. I honestly don't know why, but somebody that's a fan of my other project Red Card Headbutt actually asked me my predictions for this year's show. So, with a less than marginal knowledge of what has been going on in the buildup save for a Raw here and there here are my predictions for this year's show.
In no particular order...
Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Eve Torres
Kelly will mess up running the ropes yet again, the token celebrity participant will do little to nothing due to an injury sustained on a dancing show; causing the bean counters in Titan Tower to piss themselves that they shelled out money for someone that can't do anything. I'm sure Beth and Eve will do fine, but honestly i'll be in the kitchen making a sandwich or something.
Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Title
From what I have seen, this one is going to be one of those sleeper matches that people will be talking about for awhile. The dynamic of Bryan being a complete chickenshit is really starting to grow on me. It's kind of sad that this match will probably end up being a dark match that just happens to occur just after the PPV starts. My rough guess would be Daniel Bryan winning. Still sucks that a title match will end up first. Might as well change the name of the damn thing to the European Title.
Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show for the Intercontinental Title
It's going to be quick. Most of the match will revolve around Cody trying to embarrass The Big Show. Show will go all Incredible Hulk on him and will win the match by countout but not get the belt, thus keeping the Reverse Streak intact.
Randy Orton v.s. Kane
Only thing good about the buildup to this one is they brought out the 80's era interview platform. Orton's going to win in this one, but it will be him bumping around like a damn pinball for most of it.
Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny
Going to be a cluster of epic proportions. I'd say Team Teddy wins just for the sole fact we can have David Otunga appealing the decision in court for the next six months.
CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho for the WWE Title
Another legit match of the night contender. One of the few matches that the buildup has been very good for. Jericho bringing up the business about Punk's family just adds a level of heat to it that you rarely see out of old school Memphis. I say Punk wins after some sort of illegal tactic backfire from Jericho.
The Undertaker vs. Triple H in a Hell in a Cell Match
Going to be an amazing match. People that are whining and crying about how they need the Cell gimmick to make the match work need to get their heads out of their asses. If the match is good, it shouldn't matter if it was a rubber chicken on a pole match. Expect Undertaker to win and keep the streak going after some sort of involvement from Shawn. Because there just has to be. If they weren't going to work it in somehow, they would have put that one Armstrong brother in there.
John Cena vs. The Rock