Dick Murdoch Being Awesome

In an effort to spread awareness of things I find amusing, here's something good for you all.  This is a wrestling promo done by wrestling legend Dick Murdoch.  On his front porch, shirtless, in the snow, presumably intoxicated.  Enjoy.

John Boehner's Potty Mouth--Big Deal

So, apparently during all of this fiscal cliff goings on; at one point John Boehner told Harry Reed to "Go F**K himself"  Big deal.  Why are people seriously acting like out of decorum conduct in Congress is a big deal?  I mean, did anyone bat an eye when Dick Cheney told that guy to piss off?  Hell, during the 1800's a guy got beaten unconscious with a frigging club during a debate about slavery.  Media, stop covering this like it's a big deal and concentrate on the bigger issue; like the American public getting cornholed by our government yet again.

So What's New in 2013?

Well folks, another year has come and gone and with that brings many new and exciting things.  Well, for starters people making the fiscal cliff/mountain climber from the price is right jokes.  I can't even look at John Boehner without hearing that damned yodeling in my head this week.

We've got plenty of great things in store in the coming year.  Be sure to check out Red Card Headbutt on YouTube.  Show is on a bit of a hiatus seeing as how nobody is watching.  Go and help me change that.

In other news, I'm working on yet another piece of fiction.  No, not the National Rifle Association's promise to protect the United States.  One that's a little less scary.  Not going to give too much away, but it involves someone having to take the METRA train near Chicago out of the Great Lakes station.  Should be lots of fun.  Hopefully getting the podcast Bad Wrestling Radio up and running again in the next week or so.  Scheduling conflicts about with that.

But other than that there isn't much to report on at this particular moment.  If you all want to hear some more fun navy stories or something like that I'll bust them out as well.  I'll keep everyone posted on the book.  Oh and screw the NRA!

Christmas Ideas for the Philadelphia Eagles

After halfheartedly watching last night's edition of Thursday Night Football, I've come to the following conclusion.  After the Philadelphia Eagles loss to the Cincinnati Bengals, by a margin of 34-13, The Birds are even more out of the playoffs than they were before.  It's obvious that the only way they are going to the playoffs or the Super Bowl for that matter are by paying for admission to the games.  I know that some of these member of the Eagles organization are rather rich fellows.  That doesn't preclude them from getting gifts for the holidays.  Here are just a few gift ideas for some select members of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Bryce Brown--Some double sided tape.  During the off season he might be able to use the tape for packing moving boxes if the Eagles decide to release him.  If not, he can wrap it around his hands so he can run more than three steps without losing control of the football.  If double sided tape isn't available, perhaps some kind soul out there can buy him a good strong soap to wash the butter off of his fingers.

Andy Reid-A football coach in the NFL could always use some pens.  You know for things like filling out reports of various kinds, jotting down play ideas on dinner napkins and filling out job applications once the owner of the team gets his head out of his ass and fires him.  I'm also going to strongly suggest a rag or a cloth of some kind be sent to Coach Reid so he can wipe that stupid ass look on his face.  If anyone else has any good holiday gift ideas for the Philadelphia Eagles, send them along.

Nutty Freelance Writing Clients #7

Oh where do I begin?

"Me Need Writer.  Not Temporary.  Permanent."  Five Hundred words gets you one whole American dollar!  Gosh, if this were the Roarin' Twenties we'd be in business!  Now, when you think of the word permanent do you think of less than ten hours of one week of your life?  Just sayin....

Nutty Freelance Writing Clients #6

For some reason, it seems that ever since the release of  "50 Shades of Grey" that some freelance sites have been inundated with requests from potential clients to write erotic fiction.  This is one of them, and even in its own world it's odder than a lion trying to make love to a squirrel.

You gotta love it when people use legal sounding terms to outline the terms of an agreement to write a smut book.  Now, the part that particularly gets me is where the client outlines that the project is personal and is for them and their significant other.  How the hell is it personal if you have somebody else do it for you?  And at twenty five thousand words, they are edging dangerously close to being what seems to be the market price for a freelance job online.  Now, the client for some reason needs the project done before the first of January.  Great, just in time for the holidays.  Nothing says intensely personal like I paid somebody else to do it.

Nutty Freelance Writing Clients #5

Oh where oh where do I begin?  Well, I guess the only logical thing to do is let you read the post first...

Now that you're done, let's go through as much of this as possible.  First of all, twenty dollars.  Now twenty bucks may be nothing to sneeze at if you're a ten year old mowing the neighbor's lawn.  However, for the less than cleverly drawn up amount of six hundred and sixty-six unique ways to torture somebody; I don't think the enthusiasm in the project will be there.  I mean seriously, after the first hundred or so methods of torture some of them will end up less than funny.  The Simpsons has been on for over twenty years for example.  Can you honestly say that every episode of that show is funny?  You can't.

The best part about this particular posting is that they want your qualifications about why you'd be the perfect candidate to come up with so many ways to torture people.  Oh and it's a WORK FOR HIRE job, meaning your name will never be associated with it.  Thank god.  I can't imagine sitting in an office ten years from now and a potential client asking me about the list of torture ideas.  This kind of shit will definitely get you on the no fly list.