Friday, April 8, 2011

The Official Results Of The Green Death Hot Sauce Challenge!

Well folks, now that I got that off my chest...time for the results of the Green Death Hot Sauce Challenge.  We finally got around to it last night seeing as how I recovered from our latest excursion to Golden Corral earlier in the week.  Sorry for all the delays but that place will knock you silly.  We arranged everything to coincide with our normal dinner time.  The wings in question were pre cooked buffalo wings bought from a Sam’s Warehouse.  They cook up easily and taste great even when you don’t put anything on them.  So we had the implements of my potential downfall at hand.  As per the rules of the contest, my wife was in charge of putting the sauce on the wings.  Here is a picture of the sauce in question…

The Green Death itself, El Yucateco.  This stuff will rip the chrome off a trailer hitch.  As you will see in the pictures it almost glows in the dark.  Bright green.  But I gotta say outright, we go through a bottle a month of this stuff.  For a period, we would put it on everything under the sun.  To provide you with an exact account of what sort of nemesis I dealt with, after about twenty minutes in the cooker my wife proceeded with laying on the sauce.  For six wings, there was a full tablespoon of sauce each.  Which turned out to be roughly a third of the bottle.  It was then let to congeal on the wings to ensure maximum spice penetration once the wings hit my mouth.  A glass of water was placed to my left.  One sip from the glass would constitute submission and I would have lost the challenge.  There was no time limit.  Just go until you cannot go anymore.  My wife placed the finished wings in front of me and the challenge was on!

Here are a couple of shots of me as I was plowing my way through the potentially lethal half dozen.  The trick to any hot sauce challenge is to get through them as fast as possible.  Once the sauce hits your taste buds, it will take effect and quick.  The sensation will hit you like a ton of bricks.  So you gotta get out of the blocks early before the peppers overcome you.

Around wing three or four, the sauce achieved maximum burn and I almost threw in the towel.  But I had been shooting my mouth off for the whole week saying I was going to do it.  So I bravely and painfully bit into the last two wings, eyeballing the glass of water like it was the keys to Fort Knox.  After two minutes and thirty three seconds, the last bit of habanero covered chicken was downed.  I had completed the Green Death Hot Sauce Challenge. 

As you can see from the pictures, I paid a little bit of a price.  The look on my face can only be described as one that knows I just completed a test of my will and endurance.  I probably drank a gallon of milk afterward to make sure my eyes didn’t pop out of my head.  But I am not done.  Soon there will be another mountain to climb.  Scotch Bonnet peppers.  Multiple times hotter than El Yucateco.  Higher degree of difficulty.  Time to go on Amazon and order the fifty gallon drum of Maalox.  And wherever you can find it, look for El Yucateco Sauces if you love anything spicy.

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