Friday, March 18, 2011

Feathergate!

For those of you that were sickened and disgusted at the thought of finding a feather in your bucket of chicken; fear not. I have been assured that it wouldn’t happen again. When the good people at Kentucky Fried Chicken’s corporate offices found out that there had been a foreign body found at one of their locations; they were quick to act. I wouldn’t call four days quick to act, but then again slower than molasses takes longer to type. But at any rate, they finally got around to calling back in between rounds of mechanically separating chickens.
The result in itself was relatively simple. The corporate office managed to find someone in our area that knew what they were doing and contacted me. I was informed that by the time the chicken I received got to me, that it had passed through two or three sets of hands that are responsible solely for looking for things that shouldn’t be there. That’s what scares me. A couple of people got together and figured that feathers were tasty. I’ve eaten a ton of fried food in my time. Fried cheese sticks, fried clams, even a fried Twinkee once. Never have I thought of deep frying a chicken feather. But since I had already gotten a refund, by the time an actual manager got a hold of me my options were limited. Much like the time Kramer agreed to a free coffee settlement, I verbally committed to a settlement.
Free chicken. Yeah, I know. But the family and I were pretty much given carte blanche to keep us happy. But since I didn’t sign anything, be careful. You might find a feather in your chicken. That being said; our options were a little bit limited. So we had to opt for the Crispy Strips Meal. Which in itself was very good. The family had a pretty good meal. And In some small way I got one over on a large corporation. On a corporate level, KFC in the end did treat this whole situation very well. But they and other fast food empires are not immune to the general who gives a damn attitude most of the staff at their locations seem to have. They just don’t want anyone to disrupt the oblivion that they have to put themselves into mentally to get through the day. But all is good and well now.
One last word on this KFC feather incident and then I’m done with it. Although you may feel like a kook, and although it may look completely ridiculous, if you have a problem with something at any restaurant; don’t just stop at the manager if you aren’t satisfied. Call corporate. They’ll light a fire under people’s asses and get them to realize that their jobs are just as reliant on how they treat people after their chicken is in the box as it is before it.
And now for a place where you won’t find any feathers in your chicken, let’s talk about Chik-Fil-A for a moment. Their menu is pretty much three or four things done really well. Chicken sandwiches and chicken strips. That’s pretty much their entire menu. The only real alterations that can be made to the menu is whether you want tomato on it or not. That’s it! No mystery bowls, no quarter size biscuits, no paper buckets. Just bread and chicken. And it is delicious. Plus they are closed on Sundays. Which I like. Not so much the fact that it’s the owner publicly expressing his religious beliefs; but it tricks me into thinking they are spending that extra day looking for feathers.

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